and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
