if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
