i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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