I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
