One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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