Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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