Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
vagina is talking i cant
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize