Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
