Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
