In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
