I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
