the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
