Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
