she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
