I don't usually arrange sex via text message
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
They left me at home... I'm a liability
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize