I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
