We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
