I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
