I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
