Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
