...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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