I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
