If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think I won the penis lottery.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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