I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
