being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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