i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
