i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do vagina's smell?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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