Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How's work?
Spinning.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
