Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
