he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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