Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
