She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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