Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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