he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
