I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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