on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize