he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
