I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is my gift to your gina
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
