I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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