Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
