Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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