Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
