I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
