I hate all girls vehemently.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize