i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
