Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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