We won't sleep together?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Will exercising make me less horny?
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