Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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