$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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