I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
