Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
