This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
