I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
