I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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