Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
