we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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