Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
