If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
